It is time for some funny time puns! Whether you are looking for a pun for a birthday card, party invitation, or just for a laugh, these time puns will help you out. Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny time puns! From clever quips about watches and clocks to witty wordplay about time itself, we have got plenty of laughs to help you pass the time.
Funny Time Puns
Did you hear about the psychic who won the lottery? He had good “second sight”!
I used to play hide and seek with my watch, but it always found the time to be seen.
The baker’s favourite song is about time – it is called “Flour on the Hands of Time.”
Why do not scientists trust atoms to keep track of time? Because they are always splitting seconds!
Did you hear about the time traveller who couldn’t keep his appointments? He had too many “chrono-logical” issues.
I tried to make a time joke, but it was before its time, and nobody laughed.
I told my computer I needed more time, and it replied, “Sorry, I am not a time machine – I am just RAM.”
When the clock factory caught fire, it was a real “second-degree” burn.
I told my friend ten jokes about time, but he didn’t laugh once – I guess my humour was “off-schedule.”
Why was the calendar always stressed? Because it had too many “dates” to keep up with!
I used to be a baker but couldn’t make enough dough in time, so I kneaded a career change.
The math book fell in love with the history book – it was a tale of “time and algebra.”
I asked my watch if it believed in time travel. It said, “I am a little ‘wristy’ about it.”
Did you hear about the pessimistic clock? It always saw the “glass half-empty” when it came to time.
The calendar’s days were numbered when it got replaced by a digital schedule.
I told my clock I needed more time to sleep, and it ticked me off.
Why did the scarecrow become a great timekeeper? Because he was “outstanding” in his field!
The time machine broke down, so it is stuck in a “tick-tock” paradox.
Time Puns About Clock
Did you hear about the watch that got into a fight? It just couldn’t take the “second-hand” embarrassment.
Why did the chef lose track of time during the cooking competition? Because he “pan-fried” his thoughts!
Did you hear about the time traveller’s party? It was a blast from the past and a hit from the future!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough to buy a time machine.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I asked the time traveller if he had a favourite music era. He said he enjoys “rock” music at any age!
The chronicle told a joke about time, but it took a while to get to the punchline.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful time traveller? Because he was outstanding in his field!
If you ever get the chance to time travel, make sure you pack a “past-port.”
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Did you hear about the psychic time traveller? He cancelled all his appointments yesterday.
I am reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down… much like time itself!
Have you heard about the restaurant in the future? I listened to the excellent food, but the service was a bit “time”-consuming.
Time travellers have a great sense of humour. They always find “time” for a good joke!
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh, but he didn’t laugh. Guess the timing was off.
I am trying to lose weight in two weeks. So far, I have lost 14 days.
I told my watch a joke, but it had too many “ticks” and couldn’t handle the punchline!
I used to be into time travel, but it was so time-consuming that I decided to quit in the past.
Why did the scientist break up with the time machine? It just couldn’t keep up with their “timely” conversations.
I got a new job as a timekeeper but quit because I couldn’t keep up with the hours.
Time flies when you are having fun, but it seems to stand still during a boring meeting.
If you want to become a professional time traveller, you will need to have a lot of “second” thoughts!
Why did the scarecrow become a successful timekeeper? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I told my friend ten jokes about time, hoping at least one would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Did you hear about the watch that went to therapy? It had too many ticks.
Time Pick Up Lines
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems with its timeline.
I used to be a baker but couldn’t make enough dough in time, so I kneaded a career change.
Did you hear about the psychic who won the lottery? She had a sixth sense of timing.
I used to play hide and seek with my alarm clock. It always had the perfect hiding time – it is unbeatable!
I once tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
I do not trust stairs because they are always up to something like time.
I would tell you a joke about daylight saving time, but it is always too soon or too late.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint in no time.
I was reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down – time flies!
Why do not scientists trust atoms when they tell time? Because they make up everything!
I entered a pun contest with a time-related joke, but it didn’t win. It was just second-rate.
My alarm clock and I had a disagreement. It wanted me to wake up, but I thought it was a timely suggestion.
I was going to make a time travel joke, but you didn’t like it yesterday.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. It is all about the right timing.
The invention of the wheel was groundbreaking, but the story of the clock was indeed a turning point.
I used to be a watchmaker, but I couldn’t find the time to continue.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can? He was lucky it was a soft drink; otherwise, he’d have been soda pressed for time!
Punches can be pretty subjective, and humour varies from person to person. Enjoy these time-related puns and share a chuckle with your friends!
