Peter Sagal Quotes: The Best of the Best

Peter Sagal Quotes: This blog is dedicated to the best quotes from Peter Sagal, host of the popular NPR show Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! If you’re a fan of the show, or just looking for a good laugh, you’ll find what you’re looking for here.

Peter Sagal Quotes

“I think that people who are a little eccentric about music are the most fun because they have such a deep appreciation for it.” — Peter Sagal

“We all know what a stoner is. Someone who’s like, I don’t care, man. I’m going to go home and watch TV.” — Peter Sagal

“Death is the great leveller. No matter how rich you are, you can’t take it with you when you go. It’s a very humbling experience, just to know that everyone is the same in that respect.” — Peter Sagal

“Sometimes people will ask me what you do. I say, ‘I’m a singer.’ And they say, ‘Oh my God, I loved your performance!’ And then it’s like, All right! Well, that helps me out.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t watch television. I’m not one of those people who always have it on in the background. I don’t have TiVo or anything.” — Peter Sagal

“A lot of people who fill up a CD with all their favourite songs have no idea how many of them there are on a CD.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m 42, and I know what my body can do. And I know I will not be able to do that forever because things break down. And that’s the wisdom of age.” — Peter Sagal

“The message for young girls is: This is the path to happiness. Find the perfect pair of shoes. Find the perfect purse. Find the perfect haircut.” — Peter Sagal

“I was never a big fan of sports, like many kids where I grew up. I liked watching them more than playing them. I never played on a Little League team. I don’t play golf.” — Peter Sagal

“I think if you believe that things are going to get better, then you’re really stuck in the mud.” — Peter Sagal

“I mean, we know that the pilot is always going to be an a capella chant about how great it is to be an airline pilot.” — Peter Sagal

“People distract themselves with their phones all the time. I mean, I’m guilty of it. It’s one thing to pull out your phone at a red light or whatever, but if you’re just sitting there looking at your phone, you may as well be reading the paper.” — Peter Sagal

“One of my favourite things is writing. If I had to pick something, I would like to do it more than anything else. It’s that.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t think TV should be mean-spirited… If you start watching a show and you get into it, don’t you want to watch the rest of it?” — Peter Sagal

“I’m always happy to see people come up on stage and sing their songs. But I can’t see people who are already in a band.” — Peter Sagal

“Coffee is a major part of how I wake up, but knowing that I’m going to go through security at the airport makes me nervous.” — Peter Sagal

“I have always been an avid television watcher. That’s how I get most of my information. That’s how I know what happened in the world today.” — Peter Sagal

“For some reason, I’ve always wanted to learn French. And the only way that I’m going to do that is by going to France.” — Peter Sagal

“I like little pieces of jewelry and things that are meaningful but not too expensive.” — Peter Sagal

“I think it’s exciting when you have people coming up on stage who aren’t really singers. It’s a different kind of experience. The crowd doesn’t know what to expect, and I think that’s good.” — Peter Sagal

“I’ve always been obsessed with acting and being in the spotlight, and getting to do that every night is wonderful.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t know if you’re funny when you don’t have a show… But it just gets better.” — Peter Sagal

“It’s not just that they’re younger. They were just better.” — Peter Sagal

“I’ve always been a singer. My mother used to have me sing to her, and I’d always sing with my friends growing up.” — Peter Sagal

“The worst thing about my job is that I look forward to it every day I’m doing it. It’s very boring that way.” — Peter Sagal

“We’ve lost sight of civility in our politics in America. And that’s a dangerous thing because we need civility. We need people to be civil. That’s what I want to help restore.” — Peter Sagal

“I’ve been lucky enough to be working with incredible people on our show.” — Peter Sagal

“Every day I wake up, I feel a little more grateful for being able to do my show… And lucky enough to have the opportunity to do it.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m a pretty good sport about being talked down to. I kind of enjoy the experience.” — Peter Sagal

“When it’s important to you, it gives you a sense of life. You’re not just getting up and going through the motions, going to work.” — Peter Sagal

“There are some things that people ask me, do you believe in ghosts? And I’ve never been one of those people who thinks there’s a ghost or something in my house. I’m very skeptical. But I would love to see a ghost.” — Peter Sagal

“I think a lot of the stuff we do on TV is hilarious. And sometimes we go up on stage, and some of it doesn’t work. But sometimes it does.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m not big on the idea that you should go out there and make fun of people, or that you need to be mean to make people laugh.” — Peter Sagal

“I know how to play the accordion… But I don’t. Because if the accordion is out, it’s just going to make people want to dance.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m always amazed when I hear people on a show complaining that their parents have done a terrible job of raising them. I think, ‘How dare you? If you had kids, you wouldn’t do that! But because they’re your parents, you can say anything.'” — Peter Sagal

“I’ve never wanted to be a singer at all. I wanted to be famous.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t think, ‘Oh, boy, it’s time to play golf.’ I don’t think that. I just can’t imagine doing that.” — Peter Sagal

“My dream was always to be on a television show. Whatever it was, that would have been my dream. But being on television was never a dream for me.” — Peter Sagal

“I’ve been lucky enough to do something I really love. And it’s what makes me happy every day. And I don’t know what else is out there.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t know that I want to put more of my personal life on television. People who watch the show know enough about me.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m always asked why more news isn’t funny, and my answer to that is, what would be the punch line?” — Peter Sagal

“Everything was much better in the old days because people were meaner. And you know, I’ve said it a million times, and people say, ‘You’re wrong!’ But there’s just not as much meanness today.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t have any problem with the Internet. I think that it’s such a great invention. The fact that there are so many ways to communicate with each other is just great.” — Peter Sagal

“The best thing about being married to someone else is you’d be so screwed if I ever got hit by a car. She would take care of me.” — Peter Sagal

“I think the most important thing to have as a comedian is common sense. Because if you’re making jokes about people, you have to have some fundamental ideas about human behaviour and how people work.” — Peter Sagal

“My mother has always said, ‘Nothing’s worse than saying something and not knowing that it’s funny.'” — Peter Sagal

“Maybe there’ll come a time when I won’t like doing this show. I could see myself doing that.. ” — Peter Sagal

“America’s always been about the underdog… And that’s why I think people flock to entertainment. Because there are a lot of underdogs out there.” — Peter Sagal

“I like to think I’m cynical, but at the same time, I don’t want to be so cynical that I don’t believe in anything.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m not really very political. If the Democrats or Republicans come up with a position on something I agree with, I’ll support them. If they don’t, I don’t. I just don’t have the patience for political parties.” — Peter Sagal

“My parents never told me what to do, and that’s very important to me.” — Peter Sagal

“I made my mother cry when I was three years old. And she hated me for that! She wanted to lock me up for life. But I’m glad she didn’t.” — Peter Sagal

“I said to a guy, ‘If you can look in my eyes and lie, then that’s not a good idea.’ And he goes, ‘Well if you can look me in the eye and lie, that’s a bad idea.’ And I go, ‘Well… Shit. That’s an interesting theory.'” — Peter Sagal

“I feel that people will laugh at something or laugh at me even before they know what I’m saying. But when they find out what I’m saying, everybody laughs. That’s a victory.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t think I’ve ever been on a show where I’ve had this much respect for the guest we’re talking to. And it’s growing every year.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t follow sports at all. And I can’t even call a football game!” — Peter Sagal

“When people ask me if I have an agent, I always say, ‘No. I work for my mother.'” — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Best Quotes

“This is a great job, but nobody wants us to know that. I like talking to people who are doing different jobs. Like, ‘Dude, you’re a lawyer? You’re not miserable?'” — Peter Sagal

“It’s not necessary to get into fights and scream at each other on television. That doesn’t make it any better.” — Peter Sagal

“I am getting older. But I’m fortunate because I feel great. And I don’t feel like I’m getting old.” — Peter Sagal

“I think that many things happening in the world are incredible. But I just don’t want to live in the world. I want to be myself.” — Peter Sagal

“You know, there’s something about television where you must keep changing things up… You have this little window, and you can only do so much. And people get tired of stuff.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m pleased with what’s going on in my career. But I don’t want to do the same thing for 35 years. I need to be able to sit down and figure out what the next step is.” — Peter Sagal

“To me, conservatism seems like a pretty dumb idea all around.” — Peter Sagal

“I have never met anyone in a nursing home who is not lying to you” — Peter Sagal

“This show – an improvisational game about death – is so real, you could die laughing.” — Peter Sagal

“Our television shows begin with young people who are looking for love and end with old people looking for it.” — Peter Sagal

“As a comedian, I can’t do this job without using props. I can’t do any job without them. And so I fight to keep the use of props alive.” — Peter Sagal

“I am not a very good dancer, but I can make people feel like they are at a great dance party.” — Peter Sagal

“I did my first bit on TV at 27, after gaining experience as a standup comic in Chicago and Los Angeles. The rest is history.” — Peter Sagal

“Generally, we’re looking for entertaining pieces that are funny. Funny is subjective, so we’re interested in pieces with original voices.” — Peter Sagal

“My audition was great. I got a lot of laughs. It was the first time they ever kicked someone out.” — Peter Sagal

“I generally don’t ask people at parties what they do for a living. I assume they’re unemployed and that’s why they’re at the party. And if they’re rich, I go away prouder than if I were the richest man in the world.” — Peter Sagal

“I have been a standup comic for 30 years. It takes ten years to become a good one, so it’s time to call it quits.” — Peter Sagal

“It’s not easy being funny all the time. Then you get sick of being funny.” — Peter Sagal

“Why was I even there? They hadn’t even heard of me. I didn’t have enough money to pay the entry fee.” — Peter Sagal

“I was nervous. I arrived early and waited in line. Finally, a woman came to invite me in. It was a lounge, so I went inside.” — Peter Sagal

“If I were prosperous, there’d be a lot of stuff I’d want to do with my money, but frankly, if you are rich and mean, you should give it all away as fast as possible. Because if you don’t, other people will get it.” — Peter Sagal

“When I was a child, I wanted to be a lawyer or a politician. Then I saw John Belushi and realized, ‘Oh, no… that’s not for me.’ That was my goal. Now I’m here talking about it.” — Peter Sagal

“I have learned that you cannot control what people say about you. And once you realize that, it’s liberating. You’re freer than ever before. And you remember that everyone is subject to their own opinions.” — Peter Sagal

“If you can’t tell the difference between good and bad TV by this point, then I’m sorry, but you’ll have to spend another ten years in the club. Or whatever it is that you do.” — Peter Sagal

“I’ve been on two talk shows. I’ve been on stage at Carnegie Hall. I’ve been on an airplane in the toilet. I’ve had all kinds of adventures.” — Peter Sagal

“I have this personal rule. I am under no obligation to like a person, but if they start talking to me, I will take the time out of my day to talk to them.” — Peter Sagal

“If you went by newspaper reviews and awards, you’d never make it as a standup comic. You have very little control over that. You have to learn to ignore it.” — Peter Sagal

“I love singing. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket! So I don’t sing. It’s very freeing.” — Peter Sagal

“My impressions of people were usually not so good. I made fun of them afterwards. How could I make fun of them during? They might grab me, beat me up and throw me into the river.” — Peter Sagal

“As novelists, we are people who tell lies for a living. We cheat on our expense accounts. We take naps. You can’t fire me. I quit! And we do it all in the name of art!” — Peter Sagal

“I suspect that if I really wanted to be a politician, I would have had to go into politics.” — Peter Sagal

“My mother was a professional singer and my father was a comedian, so sometimes at home we would play comedy games.” — Peter Sagal

“We don’t want to hear about how old you are. We want to hear about your dreams.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m closer to my mom’s generation than mine. I love the music of that time. It was the best time of my life.” — Peter Sagal

“I used to be incredibly insecure in this business. I just couldn’t believe that anyone would listen to me if they didn’t have to. And that was when I started to get good.” — Peter Sagal

“Some of my favourite pieces are the two guys playing chess on the subway. That was awesome. The guy talking about his divorce – heartbreaking, but hilarious.” — Peter Sagal

“We just want your story. We are not looking for sketches or characters. But we are willing to accept people that have some.” — Peter Sagal

“I do love being a comedian. I love knowing I’m going to make someone laugh and laugh hard. I love it more than any job I’ve ever had.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m a middle-aged guy who knows how to make people laugh. I can’t remember the last time I was genuinely amused by anything.” — Peter Sagal

“No, no. If you’re going to make fun of me, at least pull out one of the lines from my act. Otherwise, it’s just mean. And I don’t want to be on your show.” — Peter Sagal

“I did standup for about ten years, and then I got a sitcom deal with CBS. We did three pilots. They were all terrible. After that, I decided that wasn’t for me.” — Peter Sagal

“I get my hair cut by the same guy every three months. He knows what he’s doing.” — Peter Sagal

“Generally, we’re looking for entertaining pieces that are funny. Funny is subjective, so we’re interested in pieces with original voices. We are not looking for basic character bits or impressions.” — Peter Sagal

“There’s a lot of stuff out there now. And I just don’t care about it. Because that’s what I do and why I’m here.” — Peter Sagal

“I played drums in the school band and was in theatre groups, but standup comedy was always my calling. I knew it when I was 11 years old. I knew it when I was 12. And I’ve always known it.” — Peter Sagal

“Every single job that comes up on Craigslist about a radio station, there are about a thousand people who want to do standup comedy and only one or two who want to be deejays.” — Peter Sagal

“I do not have a regular full-time job. I’m a comedian. And as far as I know, this is the longest job anyone has ever had at NPR. Almost 30 years.” — Peter Sagal

“I never had a regular full-time job. I’m a comedian. And as far as I know, this is the longest job that anyone has ever had at NPR.” — Peter Sagal

“It’s a little different now. I’m the oldest guy there.” — Peter Sagal

“I don’t know why I’m successful. It’s not something I’ve ever worried about. But there are times when it’s very satisfying to be known as one of the funniest guys in the country.” — Peter Sagal

“My father knew a lot of people in show business. Part of getting to know the business for me was hanging around with those people and soaking up their stories. I’ll tell you a story I remember fondly.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m not sure anyone has ever seen something like this before. It’s a very unique and wonderful show. Each week, I’ll sit behind the control room with our audio engineer and we’ll record four or five shows during the day as they happen.” — Peter Sagal

“This morning is one of those days that is kind of out of the ordinary. I’m about to tell you that I saw a giant UFO over my house. I channelled it. It’s a new way of living and thinking. And it’s what I want to talk about tonight.” — Peter Sagal

“I’m here to find out if there are any funny ideas in this show.” — Peter Sagal

“I love doing interviews on the show because they allow me to hear sounds and voices for the first time. And I’m always thrilled to have the chance to have a couple of laugh-out-loud moments.” — Peter Sagal