Funny Marriage Quotes – Marriage jokes for newlyweds

Funny marriage quotes are fantastic for marriage events, from creating toasts to providing guidance, to only making us laugh.

We just collected funny and amazing marriage quotes which will allow you to consider your choice again lol. Scroll down and examine them all to rescue yourself from fatal consequences. Although it’s wonderful to think about marriage as a romantic fable, that fairy tale doesn’t typically extend beyond your wedding day and, even then, you are in a hardcore venture and nothing is fairly anymore.

Funny Marriage Quotes:

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit. -Billy Connolly

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers. -Richard Pryor

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.-Will Ferrell

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.-Evelyn Hendrickson

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.-Albert Einstein

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. -Oscar Wilde

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Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. -G. K. Chesterton

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. -Helen Rowland

The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.

True love is spending one day getting married and the rest of your life feeling glad you did.

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the…

A happy marriage is about three things: memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes…

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock! -Zeenat Essa

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. -Doug Larson

Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops. -Riaz Naturally

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. -Oscar Wilde

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit. -Billy Connolly

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. -Prince Philip

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. -Ann Bancroft

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit…

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how…

Better than I was, more than I am. And all of this happened, by taking your hand.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not…

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A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.-Michel de Montaigne

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.-Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death does them join. -Elbert Hubbard

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. -Raymond Hull

The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage. -Ratna Deep

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. -Benjamin Franklin

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. -Helen Rowland

Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates. -Rory Elder

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henry Youngman

Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week. -Christie Cook

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them. -Ogden Nash

I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff. -Wendy Liebman

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day. -Mickey Rooney

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day. -Mickey Rooney

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. ― Oscar Wilde

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ― Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. ― Ambrose Bierce

There are two tests for a happy marriage: wealth and poverty.

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

Marriage – betting someone half your shit that you’ll love them forever.

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Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were…

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ― Socrates

Marriage is tough, humorous, and at times unthinkable. Marriage is a connection that’s coordinated and balanced with both wheels of an automobile that’s husband and wife but usually, it’s nearly always dominated by the spouse. This could also be represented by leading funny marriage estimates. Never say your spouse isn’t right or you must prepare to confront the consequences in the long run.

Request a married couple to your main qualities in a partner, and “sense of humor” will probably be close to the top of the list. Marriage is tough, so in the event that you’re able to laugh–and laugh at yourselves–you are more inclined to make it (and make each other laugh). So grab your partner (well, not literally) and require a couple of minutes to sit back and revel in our funny marriage quotes.

They also open our eyes to the essentials of matters like communicating in union and balancing individual needs along with your partner’s needs. Speaking about love and marriage is as old as…well, speaking! So there is plenty of great material on the market. Quotes about marriage and love are inclined to be somewhat intimate and occasionally a little soppy. If you’re a few who violates the wedding principles and enjoys to laugh and joke all the time, then those super-funny quotations and expressions would be the perfect things that you put in your wedding address or perhaps in your save the date cards. [adinserter block=”7″]

If you’re picking some humorous wedding quotes to state during a wedding toast, then steer clear of these sorts of jokes. Not because the groom and bride will take them seriously and be offended, or since they are not amusing (the “suffer-ring” lineup is smart!); but as the very best wedding present you can give the few is a concept of a constructive and loving future.

Have a dig in the humorous side of the union. These funny marriage quotes are great stress busters. They cause you to laugh in the banalities of the union. When you browse humorous marriage quotes, you understand that an ideal marriage has its own inherent defects but these flaws increase the charm of union.

Funny wedding greetings may brighten up the newlyweds’ day and let them understand, in a funny way, which you are happy with them. Life is too short to take everything dead. Weddings are joyous events — time to get some fun!

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