It is time to get cheesy with these hilarious clock puns. From alarmingly bad puns to ones that will get you all wound up, these clock jokes will have you laughing in no time. We have rounded up some of the best clock puns out there to help you tell time with a smile. From alarms to winding up, these jokes will definitely get you all wound up!
Funny Clock Puns
I entered a pun contest, but my clock joke was secondhand. It didn’t ‘hour’-ner any points.
Did you hear about the baker who was always on time? He kneaded the dough with ‘precision’!
The clock wanted to be a detective, but it couldn’t ‘hand’le the ‘tick’s and ‘tock’s of the job.
Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many ‘face’-ts it needed to work through.
The alarm clock was tired of all the ‘ringing’ accusations. It was just trying to ‘alarm’ everyone!
The grandfather clock was awarded a medal for its ‘outstanding’ contribution to timekeeping.
I told my clock a joke, but it didn’t laugh. It just gave me a ‘second’ glance.
The watch tried to join the orchestra, but it couldn’t keep ‘pace’ with the conductor.
I tried to make a pun about time travel, but it is so ‘chrono’-logically complex.
Why did the clock always make the same mistake? It had a arepeating’ pattern!
I asked my clock if it wanted dessert, and it said it was ‘full’ of seconds.
The clock’s joke fell flat, but it didn’t ‘lose face’. It just ‘turned around’ and tried again.
The digital clock threw a party, and it was a ‘bit’-teresting event for all.
Clocks are like friends, they are ‘bound’ to be there in your times of need.
I offered my clock a job, but it said it is ‘hands’ were already full.
The clock and the calendar had a ‘date’, and it was ‘time’ they finally met.
The clock was so excited for the dance, it was ‘ticking’ with joy.
When the clock factory caught fire, it went up in a ‘blaze of glory’.
The wall clock was feeling insecure, so I told it that ‘time’ would reveal its worth.
I heard the clock started a rock band, but it couldn’t find the right ‘rhythm’.
Did you hear about the watch that went to therapy? It had too many “tick”-ing issues.
The procrastinating clock was always “second”-guessing itself.
Clocks are great at holding grudges – they always “face” their problems head-on.
I told my alarm clock a joke, but it just gave me a “wake” smile.
Why was the clock always calm? Because it knew how to “hour”-ganize its thoughts.
That clock must have been a great swimmer; it could really “lap” up the seconds.
The digital clock started a band because it had perfect “timing.”
Clocks always have a way of “hand”-ing out moments.
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It couldn’t keep its “hands” to itself.
Clock Pick Up Lines
I was going to make a joke about clocks, but I didn’t want to “alarm” anyone.
The time-traveling clock regretted going back in time – it was a “waste” of effort.
Clocks and calendars had an argument, but it is okay – they are both “ticking” things over.
The clock factory workers are really good at “face”-tory settings.
A clock tried to become a chef, but it couldn’t “minute” the ingredients.
Don’t lend your clock money; it is always “borrowing” time.
Clocks love telling jokes; they are always “hour”-larious.
The clock was in a hurry, but it was “second”-guessed by a cautious timer.
The broken clock was right twice a day, but it still felt like it was “running” behind.
Clocks never make good secret keepers – they are always “ticking” off information.
The clock’s yoga class was relaxing; it finally learned to “center” itself.
Why did the alarm clock win an award? It had impeccable ‘timing’ in the snooze button category.
Grandfather clocks are like the wise elders of time – they have got ‘history’ and ‘wisdom’ to share.
I tried to fix my broken watch, but it turns out I didn’t have the aminute’ skills for the job.
Don’t trust an unstable clock; it might just be ‘winding’ you up.
My friend said he could ‘watch’ the clock all day. I told him he might need a more exciting hobby.
I told my watch a joke, but it had a ‘tough time’ keeping up with the punchline.
Want to hear a ‘timely’ joke? You cannot ‘hour’-dly wait, can you?
If you throw a clock out the window, does it make a ‘second’ impression?
Clocks with ‘digital’ problems might just need a ‘byte’-sized solution.
Did you hear about the clock tower that got hit by lightning? It is all ‘shocked’ and no ‘time’.
When my clock tower friend visited, it just had to ‘tower’ over everyone else.
Why did the clock sit by the TV? It wanted to see time ‘fly’ during its favorite show.
My wall clock was feeling down, so I gave it some ‘encouragement’ to ‘hang in there’.
Why did the clock have such great content? It knew how to ‘tick’le everyone is funny bone.
I tried to teach my clock some dance moves, but it had ‘two left hands’.
The clock said it wanted to change, but I told it to be careful – time ‘changes’ everything.
My dad thought he was a clock expert, but I realized he was just ‘winding’ me up.
I bought a new dress watch, but it didn’t ‘suit’ my style after all.
Why did the clock tower decide to dress up? It wanted to make a ‘towering’ statement.
I hope these puns brought a smile to your face! Feel free to ask if you need more puns or any other assistance.